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Lesson Four: Verb Tense
As you write
your essay, remember to focus on verbs and keep
adjectives to a minimum. Pumping your sentences full of
adjectives and adverbs is not the same thing as adding
detail or color. Adjectives and adverbs add lazy
description, but verbs add action.
Passive
Tense
Our
editors find that one of the greatest weaknesses of
admissions essays is their frequent use of the passive
tense. For this mini-lesson you will learn why the
passive voice should be avoided, how to identify it, and
how to replace it with the preferred active voice.
Overuse
of the passive voice throughout an essay can make your
prose seem flat and uninteresting. Sentences in active
voice are also more concise than those in passive voice.
You can recognize passive-voice expressions because the
verb phrase will always include a form of to be,
such as am, is, was, were, are,
or been. The presence of a be-verb,
however, does not necessarily mean that the sentence is
in passive voice. In sentences written in passive voice,
the subject receives the action expressed in the verb;
the subject is acted upon. In sentences written in active
voice, the subject performs the action expressed in the
verb; the subject acts.
EXAMPLES:
(Passive) I
was selected to be the tuba player by the band
leader.
(Active) The
bandleader selected me to be the tuba player.
(Passive)
I will be prepared for college as a result of the
lessons my mother taught me.
(Active) My mother taught me lessons that
will prepare me for college
(Passive)
I am reminded of her voice every time I hear that
song.
(Active) That
song reminds me of her voice.
EXERCISE #4:
STRONG VERBS vs. WEAK VERBS
Fill
in the blanks using the most descriptive or active verb
phrase.
1. After
working closely with my mentor, I __________
advanced techniques in oil painting.
a)
was beginning to master
b)
began to master
c)
mastered
2. My
newspaper article on the labor strikes __________
both praise and criticism.
a)
generated
b)
got
c)
was the recipient of
3. Once I
joined the debate team, I __________ the
opportunity to compete every weekend.
a)
sought
b)
had
c)
was exposed to
4.
Samuel’s touchdown __________ the stadium
crowd.
a)
created much energy in
b)
energized
c)
really energized
5.
Woolf’s essay __________ my opinion of
gender inequality.
a)
challenged
b)
made me take another look at
c)
was challenging to
6. As
Jessica drew near me, I __________ the baton and
took off running.
a)
grasped
b)
got
c)
was given
7. Once my
mother had fallen asleep, I __________ the dolls
on her nightstand.
a)
put
b)
arranged
c)
set up
8. Chris
and I __________ an educational project for
first-graders in our community.
a)
began
b)
started
c)
initiated
9.
“Why didn’t you ask me before throwing
it away?” Jason __________.
a)
hollered
b)
said angrily
c)
started to yell
10. Mr.
Franklin __________ that he was our true father.
a)
let us know
b)
told us
c)
revealed
Answers:
1)
c; 2) a; 3) a; 4) b; 5) a; 6) a; 7) b; 8) c; 9) a; 10) c;
Changing
Passive Voice to Active Voice
If
you want to change a passive-voice sentence to active
voice, find the agent in the phrase, the person or thing
that is performing the action expressed in the verb. Make
that agent the subject of the sentence, and change the
verb accordingly. For many instances of the passive voice
in your essay, you can follow these steps:
1. Do a
global search for the words “was” and
then “were.” These words often indicate
the passive voice.
2. Cross out
the “was” or the “were.”
3. Add -ed to
the verb that follows “was” or
“were.”
4. If that
changed verb does not make grammatical sense, it
is an irregular verb, so change it to the simple
past tense.
5. Rewrite
the sentence around the new active-voice verb.
EXERCISE #5:
MAKING SENTENCES MORE ACTIVE
Change
these sentences from passive voice to active voice, or
note if no change should be made.
1. I was
taught by my brother the principles of
barbecuing.
_______________________________________________________________
2. My
father was given the title by the former head
chief.
_______________________________________________________________
3. The
house was wrecked by the party and the cat was
let loose by the guests.
_______________________________________________________________
4. The
house is a mess, the cat is lost, and the car has
been stolen by Justin.
_______________________________________________________________
5.
Unfortunately, my plan was ruined by Gerald, the
building superintendent.
_______________________________________________________________
6. The
roof was leaking. It had been leaking all week.
_______________________________________________________________
7. The
ball was thrown by Lucy, who had been hiding in
the bushes.
_______________________________________________________________
8.
Francesca was placed on the first flight to
Boston. Her father put her there.
_______________________________________________________________
9.
“To be or not to be?” That is the
question.
_______________________________________________________________
10. A
feast had been created from nothing. I was
astounded.
_______________________________________________________________
Answers:
1.
My brother taught me the principles of
barbecuing.
2.
The former head chief gave the title to my
father.
3.
The party wrecked the house and the guests let
the cat loose.
4.
The house is a mess, the cat is lost, and Justin
has stolen the car.
5.
Unfortunately, Gerald, the building
superintendent, ruined my plan.
6.
No change.
7.
Lucy, who had been hiding in the bushes, threw
the ball.
8.
Francesca’s father placed her on the first
flight to Boston.
9.
No change.
10.
A feast had been created from nothing. This
astounded me.
EXERCISE #6:
PASSIVE-FREE WRITING
Write
a 100-word essay on anything at all (preferably relating
to your essay topic) without using any form of the verb
“to be.”
Continue to
Transitions
From ESSAYS THAT
WILL GET YOU INTO COLLEGE, by Amy Burnham, Daniel
Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan.
Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by
arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.
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