Law School Personal
Statement Secrets
By Geoffrey Cook, Founder EssayEdge.comEssayEdge.com contains thousands of pages of
free admissions essay advice by Harvard-educated editors.
The law school personal statement, more so than essays
for other graduate programs, resembles the kind of essay
you wrote for your college applications. The topic is
often completely open-ended. This freedom intimidates
many students who prefer to have guidance and a clear
notion of what admissions officers are looking for. Your
goal must be to avoid depending too heavily on
preconceptions and to focus instead on what you have to
offer. In sum, law school admissions committees want
interesting, confident, and successful people.
When writing your law
school personal statement, you should reflect on two
fundamental questions:
1. Why do I want to be
a lawyer?
2. What are my qualifications?
As the founder of
EssayEdge.com, the Net's largest admissions essay prep
company, I have seen firsthand the difference a
well-written application essay can make. Through its free
online admissions essay help course and 300
Harvard-educated editors, EssayEdge.com helps tens of
thousands of student each year improve their essays and
gain admission to law schools ranging from Harvard to
State U.
Having personally edited
over 2,000 admissions essays myself for EssayEdge.com, I
have written this article to help you avoid the most
common essay flaws. If you remember nothing else about
this article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be
Concise.
Why Do I Want to Be a
Lawyer?
In the tired eyes of an
admissions officer, nothing is more tedious than an essay
that starts off, "I have always wanted to be a
lawyer," and then cites a list of trite reasons. One
obvious mistake is to focus on your parents' experiences
as lawyers without demonstrating any independent, mature
thinking about your own goals. A less obvious, more
common mistake is to write about how you want to help
people. The fact is that most law school graduates,
especially from the top schools, go on to work in the
private sector. Law school admissions officers are well
aware that most of their graduates will go on to seek
financially rewarding careers, so applicants who mention
clichés about wanting to "improve society"
usually sound disingenuous.
If you have a specific
goal, such as working for a particular disadvantaged
group that lacks advocates, then the situation is
different: It's always good to showcase a unique, focused
commitment. Even better would be if you had a track
record of community service to back up your objectives.
For example, you may have worked with handicapped people
for several years, and this exposed you to certain
injustices that you want to correct. The same approach
would work for topics that are not about public service.
For example, one might describe a background in science
and connect this to current interests in intellectual
property law.
How Am I Qualified to
Be a Lawyer?
Unlike medical schools,
which want to assess specific personal qualities in their
applicants, law schools use academic achievement as the
primary criterion in evaluating your ability to succeed
in law. Thus, you need not be concerned if nothing in
your essay directly addresses the issue of why you're
qualified for a legal career. However, if you have
substantive points to make within this area, you can
certainly help your case.
It's most essential to
discuss your background and qualifications when these
overlap with your current goals. For example, you might
discuss your interest in international law, tying it to a
multicultural background or global work experiences. As
always, the details you provide will make or break your
discussion. But the strength of an "Experiences in
Law" essay depends more than usual on the
originality of your experience. The fact is that many
people will have similar experiences and even perform the
same level of duties. While such an essay can establish
your competence, it will be unlikely to make you stand
out. Less conventional experiences, however, are
certainly worth highlighting.
TOP 10 LAW SCHOOL
STATEMENT WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Write in
Legalese.
As a prospective law student, you may be tempted to try
to impress your reader with an already tight grasp of
legal writing. Resist this temptation! You will have
plenty of time to produce the labyrinthine sentences and
sophisticated vocabulary for which legal briefs are
famous. Your reader will have seen too many essays to
appreciate bewilderingly advanced prose. Law schools are
looking for unique individuals who want to learn about
the law, not ready-made lawyers. Write clearly and
personably.
2. Don't Bore the
Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and
they must often skim. Abstract rumination has no place in
an application essay. Admissions officers aren't looking
for a new way to view the world; they're looking for a
new way to view you, the applicant. The best way to grip
your reader is to begin the essay with a captivating
snapshot. Notice how the blunt, jarring "after"
sentence creates intrigue and keeps the reader's
interest.
Before: I
am a compilation of many years of experiences gained
from overcoming the relentless struggles of life.
After: I was six years old, the eldest of six
children in the Bronx, when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use
Personal Detail. Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal detail.
They do not merely assert "I learned my lesson"
or that "these lessons are useful both on and off
the field." They show it through personal detail.
"Show, don't tell" means that if you want to
relate a personal quality, do so through your experiences
without merely asserting it.
Before: If
it were not for a strong support system which
instilled into me strong family values and morals, I
would not be where I am today.
After: Although my grandmother and I didn't
have a car or running water, we still lived far more
comfortably than did the other families I knew. I
learned an important lesson: My grandmother made the
most of what little she had, and she was known and
respected for her generosity. Even at that age, I
recognized the value she placed on maximizing her
resources and helping those around her.
The first example is vague
and could have been written by anybody. But the second
sentence evokes a vivid image of something that actually
happened, placing the reader in the experience of the
applicant.
4. Do Be Concise.
Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also
confuses the important ideas you're trying to convey.
Short sentences are more forceful because they are direct
and to the point. Certain phrases, such as "the fact
that," are usually unnecessary. Notice how the
revised version focuses on active verbs rather than forms
of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives.
Before: My
recognition of the fact that the project was finally
over was a deeply satisfying moment that will forever
linger in my memory.
After: Completing the project at last gave me
an enduring sense of fulfillment.
5. Do Address
Your Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on Them.
The personal statement may be your only opportunity to
explain deficiencies in your application, and you should
take advantage of it. Be sure to explain them adequately:
"I partied too much to do well on tests" will
not help your application. The best tactic is to spin the
negatives into positives by stressing your attempts to
improve; for example, mention your poor first-quarter
grades briefly, then describe what you did to bring them
up.
Before: My
father encouraged me to go to _______ Law School, but
I did not realize at the time that _______ Law School
was not the law school I wanted to attend to obtain a
legal education. I experienced both personal and
academic problems, which affected my grades and my
performance in law school.
After: Discontent with _______ Law School and
my performance there, I withdrew and instead went on
to attain a master's degree in Library and
Information Science. But I have never abandoned my
aspiration to become a lawyer. My work in the law
library at _______ University has allowed me to learn
more about the law, and now I plan to return to law
school with renewed dedication.
6. Do Vary Your
Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths
mixed within any given paragraph. Also, remember that
transition is not limited to words like nevertheless,
furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from
the natural thought progression of your argument.
Before: I
started playing piano when I was eight years old. I
worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I began to
love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age
of eight. As I learned to play more difficult pieces,
my appreciation for music deepened.
7. Do Use Active
Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the
subject receives the action expressed in the verb.
Passive voice employs a form of the word to be, such as
was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose
seem flat and uninteresting.
Before: The
lessons that have prepared me for my career as a
lawyer were taught to me by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will
prove invaluable in my career as a lawyer.
8. Do Seek
Multiple Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in
mind:
- Does my essay have
one central theme?
- Does my introduction
engage the reader? Does my conclusion provide
closure?
- Do my introduction
and conclusion avoid summary?
- Do I use concrete
experiences as supporting details?
- Have I used
active-voice verbs wherever possible?
- Is my sentence
structure varied, or do I use all long or short
sentences?
- Are there any
clichés, such as "cutting-edge" or
"learned my lesson"?
- Do I use transitions
appropriately?
- What about the essay
is memorable?
- What's the worst part
of the essay?
- What parts of the
essay need elaboration or are unclear?
- What parts of the
essay do not support my main argument?
- Is every single
sentence crucial to the essay? This must be the
case.
- What does the essay
reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander.
Do Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the personal statement into a
complete autobiography. Not surprisingly, they find it
difficult to pack so much information into such a short
essay, and their essays end up sounding more like a list
of experiences than a coherent, well-organized thought.
Make sure that every sentence in your essay exists solely
to support one central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut,
and cut some more. EssayEdge.com's free admissions essay
help course and Harvard-educated editors will be
invaluable as you polish your essay to perfection. The
EssayEdge.com free help course guides you through the
entire essay-writing process, from brainstorming
worksheets and question-specific strategies for the
twelve most common essay topics to a description of ten
introduction types and editing checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
My interest in the law began with donuts. As a child, I
developed early persuasive skills during family
disagreements on how to divide boxes of the treats. My
parents belonged to the "the biggest people deserve
the most donuts" school of thought; while as the
youngest family member, I was a devout believer in the
"one person, one donut" principle. The debates
were often cutthroat, but when it came to donut
distribution, I sought justice at any cost.
As my family grew older and more health-conscious, we
stopped eating donuts, and for many years I forgot our
childhood debates. However, some recent life decisions
have brought to mind those early explorations of justice.
When I first arrived at the American International School
of Rotterdam, I quickly learned that my colleagues were a
diverse and talented group of people. Unsure of how to
establish my own place among them, I tried phrases that
had always worked to impress college friends. "When
I work for the UN . . . ," I told the second-grade
teacher, and she answered with an erudite discussion of
the problems she faced as a consultant for that
organization. I told the kindergarten teacher, "When
I'm in law school . . . ," only to hear about his
own experiences in law school. By the time I discovered
that even many grade-school students were better
travelled than I, I learned to keep my mouth shut!
Living alone in a new country, removed from familiar
personal and cultural clues to my identity and faced with
these extraordinary co-workers, I started to feel
meaningless. How, I wondered, could I possibly make a
difference in a place as vast as our planet? To my own
surprise, I found that answer at church. Although I was
raised in the Bahá'í Faith, I have only recently
understood the essential place that religion plays in my
identity. Bahá'í social beliefs include the need to
work against extreme poverty, nationalism, and prejudice;
and I now realize that I cannot hold those beliefs
without doing something about them. My identity rests on
these convictions; I cannot see the need for help and
just move on. I have to help; it's who I am.
The lessons I've learned from my international colleagues
have channeled my desire for service into the field of
international development. I still wish to fight the
"'Biggest Get the Most' Theory of Donut
Distribution," but now on an international scale.
To read many more sample law school personal
statements, visit http://www.essayedge.com/.
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